White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
