You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
