Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize