real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
