Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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