i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
