Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
