too bad you live with your parents still
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize