I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
