i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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