too bad you live with your parents still
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize