You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
