Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
