I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
