if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
