Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
