Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
