I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You are a genius and a whore.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
