After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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