Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
