i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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