I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
