She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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