you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
