My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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