These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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