He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
