break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
