So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
