how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
grandma shit on top of the toilet
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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