dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
