i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
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I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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