The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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