i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
