Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
