Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
