the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
