You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
