I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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