No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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