I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
