He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
