i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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