these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
