Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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