I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no you cant smoke seaweed
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
