Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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