yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
