If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
