Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
