Please, let me fuck your mom
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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