You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
