I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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