Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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