The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
