I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
