she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
