Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
