Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Fuck appropriateness.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
