it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
