my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I love you. Go after that dick
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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