The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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