your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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