Define "chronic" masturbator.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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