11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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