sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize