I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he puts the penis in happiness.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish i was in the wii world.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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