Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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